Monday in July 2014 – the 16th
I had been leading a private Gurdjeff group whose 1st anniversary would've been tomorrow, but as the Foundation shuts down for the summer and follows the school year pretty well, I went and pulled the rug out and removed everything I had sweated over for the last year, leaving the members on their own as a kind of shock and test of their mettle. And I had been removing the posts that I had written there and saving some of them and deleting others, when I came upon a very long autobiography of myself which I copied intending to past it here, but then got lost in other matters and copied something else which sent my biography into the depths of the Internet archive crevice from which nothing ever returns. Happy burial to the biography of Richard Lloyd. I don't need you anyway – I have everything I've ever experienced packed inside this thread I have found grayish pink Walnut that exists inside of my skull.
So we will see what becomes of that. As for me, it hurt like hell – almost like an amputation. I had put some time 6 to 8 hours on the computer working for and with that group and now I have to remove it piecemeal which is very hard and tedious work. I wish I could hire a valet, but then, I have no car for him to park.
I feel kind of empty – which is neither good nor bad – because how can empty have any feelings? Empty is simply empty. It's not a perfect vacuum, because we will never reach absolute 0 Kelvin – it's as much a boundary line as the speed of light.
But I have been thinking about cosmogony and some new ideas people have about the singularity which became the "Big Bang" as the prevalent theory. The ID of the Big Bang may be sheer bullshit that we like the smell of. What to the Hindus have to offer? The days of night's and lifespan of Brahma? It seems that the ancients who were spoken of as ancient by those we consider ancient, had more brains and more sense than we have today. I need not appeal to aliens to understand that human beings built the pyramids so well that you cannot insert a credit card between some of the 60 ton blocks of stone. The entire thing was once covered with sandstone which must've made it almost impossible to look at during the daylight hours because it's refractory (the degree of light that is deflected and not absorbed) would've been astonishing with the gold triangle at the top, you could probably see it from the moon or even from Venus or Mars.